I love me some Hungry Girl!

I swear... I could've wrote this email to HungryGirl.com!

"Dear Hungry Girl,
I would LOVE to give up dry carbs but, just like everyone else, I LOVE them. That really isn't even the issue, though. It seems like without these items, I'm just NEVER FULL! I know you aren't a doctor, but I just wanted to ask about your experience when you gave them up. Did you also NOT feel full?
-Curious About the Carb Thing"

"Dear Curious,
Ahhh... So you read my bio. Yes, I did give up what I call "dry carbs" for almost a year. That includes all starches -- pasta, potatoes, bread, flour of any kind, etc. And to this day, if I ever want to drop a few pounds here or there for some reason (a special event or trip!), giving those things up is the fastest way for me PERSONALLY to lose that weight. It's obviously not the same for everyone, but for my body, avoiding those carby items is the key to fast weight loss. As far as how I felt when I wasn't eating those things -- I felt better than ever. I LOVE protein, and it fills me up WAY more than starches fill me up, so getting full was never a problem. For me, having an egg-white scramble for breakfast is more filling than eating a bowl of cereal. And I find eating a salad packed with protein (like lean meats and beans) is more filling than eating a sandwich. I was full -- not hungry -- and had TONS of energy and felt fantastic. The reason I started to incorporate starches back into my diet is because completely avoiding them FOREVER seemed unrealistic. So now I eat those things, but not often. And, even though I'm (technically) "Hungry Girl", I'm not really all that hungry (well, at least not ALL of the time)!"

just keep swimming. just keep swimming.

yah. i know.

I started this blog with all the excitement of a girl going to prom... and then forgot to actually GO.

i'm still here. will blog something real soon.

I know, I know. I haven't been here in over a week.

We've had to deal with 2 deaths, 1 funeral and 1 friend's dad in the hospital for congestive heart failure. Throw in an estranged cousin wanted in Nevada that decided to pay a visit, while she was tweaking and apparently armed with knives (according to the police report)... It's been pretty tough at the house. Then last night, we broke the news to our favorite niece, Kaitlyn, that we had put down our beloved boy corgi, Harley, a little while ago. So that brought up the sadness all over again.

I find myself having to chant... "just keep swimming... just keep swimming..."

On a good note, I've finally felt well enough (both emotionally and physically) to work out. Got back into hula as of last night. I had been gone for almost a year, so I thought... "Last time I had a waistline, it was here. So why not?" I sweated like a pig, shook my hips and rocked it for a good 1.5 hours! The ladies who teach were so happy to see me and stoked that I had brought Kaitlyn to join the class with me. Even she was pooped after 1 hour, but she was determined to keep up... bless her heart!

It's official. I'm back, baby!

Daily Food Log

• breakfast: fat-free strawberry yogurt, Fiber One bar (so delish), water
• a.m. snack: almonds, stick of cheese
• lunch: 2 carne asada tacos w/o shell, chips, salsa and pinto beans

morning check-in...

dinner, last night: (so exhausted from the day's events, I broke down at gave into joining my roommate for dinner. Don't get me wrong, she's not a bad cook at all. It's just she's not on a diet, so she eats pasta, carbs, etc.) a cup of bowtie pasta, spaghetti sauce and two pieces of garlic bread. I know, I know. SO bad.

But this morning, will renewed sense of enthusiasm (despite my cold now officially turning into a sinus infection; missed the gym again) - I've decided to go back to hula. Sure it's quite a drive, but it made me happy - and I need to snap out of this "woe-is-me; I'm so fat" funk I'm in. Plus, my fantastic girlfriend Quel, my comfort food companion, has joined in me in this quest for hotness. Believe me, her and I dream of the days where we can lay in bed all day, smoking Silk Cuts, eating heaps of sticky toffee pudding, watching Sex & the City/Will & Grace in marathon-like fashion, and snacking on an occasional Hob Nob or scotch egg. (Man we sound British!) Throw in the delicious salmon salad from Marri's next door, and we'll die fat, but incredibly happy!

So on to the business of losing weight...

brekkie: a cup of honey roasted oats w/ almonds
1/2 cup of milk
cup of V8
water

snack: 1/2 cup of cottage cheese
8 almonds
1 piece of beef jerky
water

houston, we have a problem.

so, the launch of my weight-loss quest hasn't taken off just yet.

i didn't make it into the gym like i had promised myself previously because of a cold. call me a wimp, but i miss breathing out of my nose.

but since i didn't make it to the gym, i am more conscious of my food choices:

brekkie: a delicious egg white, cheese and turkey bacon sandwich on whole-wheat

snack: sugar-free york patty

lunch: broccoli-cheese-chicken soup (hello, i have a cold, and it IS cold)
sourdough bread

snack: sugar-free york patty

it's time to commit.

The time has come.

Yesterday, I sat and read People magazine's "How They Lost 100 lbs!" issue and it brought me to tears. I became so overwhelmed with jealously, hope, and inspiration. These women did it without surgery, pills and dieticians/trainers/nutritionists. They did it by sheer will and determination. I cried because it dawned on me, when did I give up on myself?

Weight has always been a constant struggle for me since I was a kid (I'm 33 now). Coming from hearty Pacific Islander roots doesn't help either. I was constantly called, "taba" - which is Taglog for "fat." Constantly told, "You'd be so much prettier if you just lost weight," "You have such a pretty face, but you're so taba," or my personal fave, "Wow! You're so healthy!" As for family, both my parents are average-to-thick. My older brother has always been a big guy (mostly muscle, of course). But my little sister is a size 6 (but religiously works out with her personal trainer, 3-4 times a week) and my little brother has always had a speedy metabolism.

Recently, it seems like everyone around me has been reminding me how big I've gotten. I've been called "fat" or "fat lady" by little kids and two ladies (one being my MOM!) came up to me, patted me on the stomach and asked, "Are we expecting?"

So, I say this now. The time has come. I'm going to blog here about what I ate today. How I'm feeling. My ups and downs about losing (hopefully, not gaining) weight. How I miss carbs. This blog will make me look OCD about food, but really - if that's the step I'm going to have to take... SO BE IT.

I vowed last night - Chris as my witness - that I am going to treat working out as a job. My work week NOW starts at 4 a.m., 5 days a week. Seriously. If I have to cut out going out during the week, then it's going to be done. I need to get serious about implementing exercise in my day.

I want to be a 100 lb loser. I want to be happy being me.